Do do do do do

Today was good, went and got pills, they taste chalky though, ew

The World Has Its Shine

In short: relationship frustrations




I want you, I want you so bad, but that often seems suppressed a cold heartless stare and a feeling of hatred for myself and irritation with you. You make me seem unintelligent, unable to be musical, unable to be artistic, unable to be worthy. I'm not placing you on a pedestal, oh no, don't worry about that, i do see the laziness and lack of will to do what needs to be done; I place you where you are. Despite your flaws you're still much more intelligent than i am, much more artistic, much more musical, much more forgiving and much more attentive, and I doubt I should be receiving your attention for simply noticing you exist. You deserve better than me in the sense of education, if you could find that person to be mother-like and take care of what you need too, then wouldn't that be a bonus.

*sigh*

Frustration makes me wonder whether or not I'm ready for a relationship, I can barely take care of myself. I wonder why i try to live when I can barely ever exist. Time for me to go sulk and be emo-like.

Certain Cancers

Not too much to talk about, this Saturday is going to be long and horrid, as last night was. ^_^

Rawr

In short: something about dreams and psychology and theories.....




Psychology is not science and I am not a psychologist, so even to a point research is conducted for psychological theories just about everything in psychology is that, a theory. These ideas are tested by professional psychologist. I am not a psychologist, I do no studies, I do not base my theories off scientific research. I have no plan to be a psychologist, so my theory that for me dreams signify something deeper in my subconscious which is worrying me or has significance to my life is just a theory. Just because the theory exists elsewhere doesn't mean that i based it off more than
what my life has shown me. I'm an intellect, but I do not need research to back up everything i believe in.

But on that topic, lets sum up life by this simple statement, molecules do not appear out of no where. Life does not simply just appear. Ideas do not just appear out of no where. The mind is powerful but what are the likely hood that every original idea is an idea created from nothing. The mind has evolved and many thoughts have been based off of other things in the world. Stories don't simply come to be, aliens evolved from the basis of life and the basis of other planets existing. Robots evolved from humans having the power to create artificial life. Ideologies don't simply appear from no where, same as religion. There were basis for these things. Societal love didn't appear from no where. These things were expanded from other basis of things. So how is a dream, some form of insanity as put, just that and only that? It truly is a subconscious' perception of reality and in my case i have found it to perceive whats been going on in my life, whether or not thats for you is a different story i suppose.

Not Even Pipes

My elbow stings


I got into a fight with the wall when I was taking in groceries, the wall won


And i learned they don't have bandaids here

Do The Mario

So I started to process an order on ecampus.com, but ended up not doing the order, meaning i don't have the order number because i don't have an order. Unfortunately I have a charge on my card from ecampus for almost $200, which is about the amount of the order that i didn't place. What sucks even more is that nobody at customer service seems to know how to help me if I don't have an order number, which fails because i don't have an account there and i don't have an order number, so they aren't going to find my order. What would be lovely is if they perhaps looked it up by my credit card number, found what was being charged then canceled the credit card transaction, but who the hell would think of looking up an order by credit card number instead of name.

In other news I locked my spare key in my car, don't know where my regular pair of keys are because they fell out of my pants as my pants were thrown in the heat of passion....or I'm assuming thats when I lost them, makes the most sense. So I'm stranded at my boyfriends missing a class that I'm not enrolled in yet and where attendance counts against my grade, but yet again, attendance is crucial for each of my classes. Wtf, I fixed everything and then within less then a week it broke again, yay me.

Ooooo Aaaaaa

So its the start of a new year, which means 2008s GDP has ended and starting in negative 25 days is 2009s GDP. Hrm, let's state something, the economy sucks. So what does will a new year bring, beside a new president in negative 5 days? It will bring a new chance to improve the economy, that is until the middle of the year, because we all know that we give up on our resolutions if not quickly then usually by the middle of the year.

So here's what I hope to do for this year. I hope to contribute to the GDP, our GDP not China's. I hope that I can get myself to have some extra cash to spend on items made this year in the USA, that should help. It will be a very little contribution but in order for the economy to improve the citizens need to start spending money or feel like they can spend money and more USA made items need to be purchased. Sucks that the solution to not having money is spending money we don't have.


But don't spend money you don't have, debt is normal, be weird. No instead spend any extra money perhaps.

Bull Out

In short: Yesterday rockedish, but I didn't get to do a blog, so I'll cover my sickness, Vietnam, school, finances, quotes, boredom and other random things.

So lately i've been extremely....sick......if that's what you would call it. I need a doctors appointment, as I thought it was due to stress. Yeah, I thought that I was having hot flashes and was dizzy because of stress, but everything is fine now. I paid off school and enrolled in school, I don't have a fix it ticket, the only thing left is to set up a doctor's appointment. Even still i'm not stressed so could it be that I'm not sick, if you call it that, because i'm stressed but actually sick? Thats a horrid thought.

I've never felt worse. The last few days, today especially my skin has been extremely sensitive, my boyfriend put a little bit of pressure on my arm to roll me towards him and i think he bruised me, I have bruises in so many places, more than usual. I've been dizzy off and on for the last 2 months or so, which is interesting because most of the things that have been bugging me has been during this last month, although i guess i've had chest problems for the last year or so. I need a refill on my inhaler.

So i found out that I made like 5k last year, which means I think i can go to Vietnam at the end of the year.

So more randomness; psych on Friday night either sucked or wasn't as funny at Aj's house, my mom actually called Aj's house my home, which was interesting, we've been so slow at work that usually i would offer to help out a bit with manager duties but doing that while i'm working would be cruel right now instead of time saving. I was at my home home and i was watching some show with some chick named Lisa and she was talking about fucking black guys and how shes usually on top so that they don't escape, it was amusing.

Whats unfortunate though is that I wrote hello on the bottom of the hanger box and nobodies said anything, sad sad.

Ode To My Family

AGH! I don't have time to talk about everything, I'm sorry I'll start my posts for tomorrow ^_^

The Sound of Television

Today was my day off, all i had to do was take AJ to class.


I saw the whole Zelda series too, it was very intriguing.........mmm frozen pie

To draw a blank

No music playing, just the sound of my typing keyboard ^_^

I'm in a good mood though, despite my 3 hour class which was just the shortened version of the 5 hour class. Note to self: bring food. Wednesdays are going to be a pain in the ass because Link gets to school at 1030 for choir and then i leave at 1030 at night from art.

But in other news, i got Link something from Amazon well i got him 2 things but one of them came in the mail. So for weekends and moments not consumed with applications, vampire slaying and homework me and him will be playing gears of war 2, limited edition. It'll be a shame that such a serious game will be the first game for me to play on xbox 360. I've played Fable on xbox and i believe the force unleashed demo was on xbox 360 but i haven't really played any game long enough to get use to the controller. I'm more use to the wii mote, and trust me i fail at the wii mote, i have Anji plug in a gamecube controller for meh.

Anyways, I think that'll be about it, perhaps some days my daily blog will be homework things, oh how entertaining and fun that'll be. Imma head out soon and go to Link's room because Burn Notice is coming on in 15 minutes and everybody and their mothers minus me seem to have a really high interest in that show.

Heart- Shaped Box

So i know that others are posting a blog daily, *cough* David *cough Anji *cough*

should i be joining?

Not long ago, I gave up hope

I'm not one for love songs.
The way I'm living makes you feel like giving up
But you don't
And I want everything for you.

But disappointment
'Cause you've been left behind
And the world has its shine,
I would drop it on a dime for you.

(Hey oh!)
And whatever it takes.
(Hey oh!)
I'm gonna make my way home.
(Hey oh!)
We can turn our backs on the past
And start over...

Not long ago
I gave up hope,
But you came along
You gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
And I want you.
Oh, woah.
More than you could ever know.

Before I met you
I used to dream you up and make you up in my mind (up in my mind)
Woah-oh.
And all I ever wanted
Was to be understood.
You've been the only one who could.
I could never turn my back on you.

(Hey oh!)
And whatever it takes.
(Hey oh!)
I'm gonna make my way home.
(Hey oh!)
We can turn our backs on the past
And start over...

Not long ago (not long ago)
I gave up hope, (I gave up hope)
But you came along (you came along)
You gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
And I want you.
Oh, woah.
More than you could ever know (more than you could ever know.)
More than you could ever know.
It's true.

Not long ago
I gave up hope,
But you came along.
Gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
(Yeah!)
Not long ago (not long ago)
I gave up hope, (I gave up hope)
But you came along (you came along)
You gave me something I could hold on to.
Woah-oh.
And I want you.
Oh, woah.
More than you could ever know.


So it seems to be that love, each time feels different with each person, and that throughout time you develop a better sense of what it means to be in love with a person not the need for a person

Argh Blogger

It's not letting me post comments, so fine.

To rabbiman.blogspot.com, that is sad, i loved the other layout

To lolyourface.blogspot.com even though that one guy has caused you mostly pain because of your stupidity with him, you would not be in the relationship and you would not have grown without him there, it is our stupid mistakes that help us grow and do the things we never thought we would be able to do

Argh boyfriend attack!